I'm No Super-Human

I feel like this statement should be said, as.. well, I looked to global workers in this very light. "Well, that's just so great that they can go work overseas.... I'm so glad that they were called to do that."

Seriously. I remember sitting in church as a child and listening to story after story from people who came to visit (eh, maybe once a year) and thinking that very thought! I was comfortable where I was, and afraid to ask God if He had something more in mind for my life. Scary question.

But, as it turns out, it's not so scary after all.

It is, however, very necessary to remind others that I am no different from them.

Sure, I may live life in a different culture. I may be living in the future (8 hrs ahead of most of my readers, ha!). I may have different daily "norms," but I am still the same kind of person.

I love talking to those I hold dear.
I enjoy coffee breaks (sometimes, multiple ones!).
I love seeing God's creation spread out before my eyes.
I love reading in my spare time.
I enjoy learning more and more about God.
I love learning about the people He cares for and loves.
I help.
I love.
I have hopes.
I have dreams.
I fall.
I sin.
I have doubts.
I have fears.

But man, God is good. He gives me guidance and strength. I strive to have God give me life so that I may pour my own life out among those I live alongside. If it were by myself alone... none of this could happen. I'm not in it for the adventure-- or the newness. I'm in it to bring God glory. I'm here to see God work... to see God move... it just so happens that I am on a different part of the globe. Life here is not better-- nor is it worse. Life is just different.

And it's wonderful. It's wonderful not because I'm far away. It's wonderful because God is allowing me to see some of the change that is being done here.

Just the other day I was able to hear of God's miraculous work (first-hand) from a student here at school. She has gone from one who mocked Christianity to one who follows and loves God like no one else. God has a big plan for her-- I just know it. I can't really go into great detail here, but this is just ONE of the many stories that lay before me.

Stories of redemption.
Stories of hope.
Stories of change.

I just happen to be here to witness a few accounts of God's greatness in others' lives. I'm here to help propel, encourage, and pray for that change.

I'm no super human.
I'm just me.
I'm just available.

(Please do not read this as me saying that YOU are not doing the work God has called you to or that you are not available. My prayer for you, though, is that you would daily ask God to direct and guide your steps... and that you would hear and follow. I pray that we would each live out the life that God has in store for us. It's a wonderful journey and a great adventure when you let Him lead, in all things.)

Best. Gift. Ever.

Well, for one, it is hard to believe that it has been more than two weeks since my last post.. and two, I canNOT believe that it is already December!! Time is flying by...

December: When I practice free association, the words that come to mind are: Christmas, snow, family, joy, peace, caroling, lights...

Ahhh.. Christmas. It is something magical. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge fan of Thanksgiving, a wonderful holiday that practices (well, more so: thrives) on extending our waistlines gratitude. I simply love the time with family and the idea of spending the whole day in an attitude of appreciation and humbleness. How perfect for the transition into Christmas.

Christmas: the birth of Christ. The gift to the world...

To be living in the land where Christ was born is something ....very surreal. Being here, I have read the Scripture so differently (since I now have the ability to see the land that the Bible speaks of). Hard to believe that as I sit here, on my couch, I am minutes away from the field where the shepherds were given the Good News, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people..."

Surreal, to say the least.

It's also ..eh, something bitter to see how the world likes to distract us with "more" (be it a new car, electronic device, clothes... You fill in the gap.) when we are (hopefully) trying to stay focused on Jesus.

Unrelated thus far, but a fact nonetheless (that will come into reason, promise): I find myself saying, "Well, since I am a visual person, I should write that down." Now, am I saying that I don't have the ability to remember something important for another because I will merely toss that thought aside in .0093 seconds when given something new and sparkly to look at?

I hope not.

But, have I been trained to do that? Is that what my world has told me to do? I am constantly bombarded with something new, something that is not "yesterday's trash" and told what should be desired. I am told that last year's car model is obsolete, last month's latest gadget is slow, and last week's shirt is old.

Around Christmas time, these lies seem to practically jump off of the pages of newspapers and magazines. In fact, I think I should invest in ear plugs to help drown out the scream from the television commercials...

Are they trying to make me insane here?

Wait, am I wrong for not jumping in line on Black Friday?!?
Where are my COUPONS?!??
I NEED TO BUY SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS-- FAST!!!

hmmm... Something seems off in this picture.

Shouldn't I stay focused on Christ? Whhhhy am I distracted by "wants" when what I need has been here all along?

Not going to lie, part of me is very excited to be thousands of miles from the place I call home. For one, as stated previously, I am HERE. The start of it all!

And another reason: I can honestly say that I have not been stressed about shopping or even THINKING about making a Christmas list of gifts that I must buy. Or, even, a list for myself (to help deflect any unwanted presents of course..). I am focused on the task at hand: simply, being here.

I am here to teach integrity, truth, and, not to mention, the rules of the English language.

But, there are, also times when I find myself fall to distractions. How wonderful that God is patient during this whole process! This whole, living to glorify Him, thing. He knows I goof up. He knows I can, at times, tarnish His name with my foolishness. Like a parent is to a child, He desires to correct my mischievous spirit with His love and His kindness.

God is here. Always with me. Always wanting to guide me. Thanks be to God for the gift of Jesus... the gift of mercy. The gift of grace. The gift of peace. The gift of comfort.

Thank you, God, for giving the world: Jesus.

I don't fully understand it, and I don't believe I ever will.. but I am ever-grateful.

Here's to a month of staying Christ-focused (in the midst of chaotic shopping, for all of you reading).

ps, to my family and friends: The part of me that is NOT excited to be here misses you dearly and is sending loads and loads of love your way! :)

photo attribution

Creativity

Tonight as I was walking home, I passed one of the stores owned by a local family I know. Seeing the family inside of the store, I thought to myself, Do I want to stop and talk for 5-10 minutes, or continue on to the grocery store? (Trust me, these types of things are difficult to assess after a long day of walking...).

Well, my good-natured side won.. I stopped. Or more so, Zeina, the older sister, lured me in with her huge smile and her big eyes full of excitement. She had something to show me: her new laptop.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "Wait, how old is this child?! Her new laptop??..." Now, I must warn you: Before you throw a lot of questions my way, read on..

Zeina had in her hand, her new, thin, Apple laptop.

Made of cardboard (she had drawn the Mac logo on top).

That's right. She constructed it all by herself. No Steve Jobs had to tell her what to do. She had all of the functioning keys written out for the keyboard as well as the latest Mario level she had conquered plastered onto the screen. She is, your average, every-day inventor. Nothing is out of reach. Nothing seems crazy. Everything is worth trying, worth creating.

You say, "Hey, do you want to make a laptop today?" and Zeina does not respond with, "Wow. That's a stupid idea...You can't make that..." No sir-ee, Zeina leaps into all of the materials she deems fit for such a task without even asking for more detailed instructions.

Now, I walk away from this interaction pleased but yet, perplexed.

Have I lost my childhood ability to dream + create?

I sure hope not.

I know that teaching has its demands. It takes a lot of time to plan, to grade, and to set a good example to my students. But, I really hope I'm inspiring them.. and allowing them to inspire me. I hope that I am not turning away from ideas that inspire creativity because of my fear of failure. Opposition. Or, the lie of having a "lack of time."

Whatever it is, I hope I always say, "Yes. Let's create something today..."

Life's less bland that way.

Typical Afternoon Stroll...

Church on the left, mosque on the right. 

Freedom, Even When I Feel Trapped

So, I guess I feel a bit like a writer today-- and so, on to the second post of the day!

Let me explain this title: Freedom.

This is something that is found in Christ. Something I cling to. Freedom knowing that I have the promise of an abundant life because of God's grace. I have freedom to live and live out loud. Freedom to not focus on my past, knowing that Christ's blood covers those sins. Freedom in knowing that I can lean on His leading, His guidance, and His wisdom always. Freedom to not fret over my future, knowing that He has all control over those details.

In Beit Jala, I have freedom, as a Westerner, to roam and wander around the area (as most, if not all, women here are bound to their homes-- especially if they do not have a male escort while out).

I have the freedom to worship the Living God.
I have the freedom to voice my opinions.
I have the freedom to dress as I feel.
I have the freedom to do a lot of things, if I really think about it.

But yet, I feel trapped.

My freedoms suddenly have constrictions attached.

My freedom of worship has constraints, as I can not do so in public places.
My voice is suddenly made silent when out and about.
My dress is now transformed to where I fret about my elbows and knees becoming exposed (well, in parts of the city... not all).

As a Westerner, I also have an automatic stigma of being promiscuous. I have an automatic stigma of being rude. I have an automatic stigma of being arrogant. I have an automatic stigma of being an enemy. (My mother country is, after all, an ally of the "other side.")

You would not even know the number of times I feel others staring at me, because of my hair color and complexion, thinking these thoughts of me. (Here's a hint: It's every time I leave my apartment.)

So, this can be, at times... Well, binding and causes me to feel discouraged. How can one judge me so quickly?!? They don't even KNOW me!

Even though these things can cause me to become bitter, Christ reminds me of where I should focus my attention-- on SHOWING them love. Not only speaking it. This could be the simple smile to the elderly, Muslim woman I pass on the street (after I see her glare at me questionably). This could be saying "Marhaba" (hello) to a stranger. This could be a lot of things... the key is to be available for those tasks.

And, another thing is to remember that I am not the one working here. Christ is.

That may mean that I do not see the fruit of my labor. And, I'm fine with that. I know that God is going to cause these dry lands to overflow with the living water one of these days, and that fuels everything I do. I just don't quite know what that is going to look like... but, I'm excited to help the people here prepare for that day.

But for you, my readers, I hope that this post encourages you to not instantly judge those around you, especially our nation's "enemies." Our Arab friends are people. They are not merely a statistic. Nor are they a threat. They are not terrorists. A terrorist has no face, has no country, has no ethnicity. A terrorist is a terrorist.

I urge you to treat all as beloved treasures, for that is how God views them.

Because, let's be honest, undesired pretenses of character are no fun to live through.

Photo Attribution

Under Construction

At the moment I am watching some men add on to a building outside of my window. It's an interesting process here... construction, I mean. It's time consuming, to say the least. Apparently, some men will build makeshift "tent" homes at the base of the building site so that one man can sleep as the others work. They are constantly working and constantly alert.

Of course, I myself am a stark contrast to these men as I lounge around in my apartment. But, what else would one want to do on their day off?!

But then, as I think of my students, the other teachers, and myself, I reminded that we are, a bit like these buildings. We are also, under construction.

I am not the same person I was months ago.
I am not the same person I was last week.
I am not the same person I was yesterday.
Nor are they.

It seems that every day, I am learning more and more about the importance of having a teachable spirit. I don't have all of the answers. I don't know everything. And, I am not perfect.

I am still learning what it means to put others first. Still learning what it means to serve and give my all. Still learning what it means to turn the other cheek. Still learning, it seems, a lot of things.

I'm excited to see the end result. But, it takes time, effort, diligence, and, not to mention, faith in God's work in my life. I don't know why some things happen, and why others don't-- but I do know it is for His glory. The trick is to look for His hand in it all.

I am still under construction, ever striving to be more like Jesus.

Photo Attribution

Opposition

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." 

                      - Ephesians 6:12

I have to constantly remind myself of the war that is at large for many, many souls. At times, I find myself forgetting my crucial role in this war-- for I should be an active soldier, not one who is sitting on the side lines. I am one who should daily and consistently take up the whole armor of God:

• Belt of Truth
• Breastplate of Righteousness
• Shoes that are ready, at all times, to bear the Gospel of Peace
• Shield of Faith
• Helmet of Salvation
• Sword of the Spirit

Equipped, I should stand firm in truth and watch. Watching for satan's work as it moves around me, preparing myself for his attack. In the midst of everything, I should pray. I should be praying, when I feel like it at all times, for believers and non-believers alike. I should not be focused on the actions of others. More so, I should concentrate on the powers binding them TO those actions--and should rebuke those powers in Christ's name.

Christ. He is the Lord of Lords. 

Heaven knows it. 

Earth knows it. 

Even hell knows it (Luke 4:41). 

Christ is the victorious one in the end, but we are not there yet. 

A war is still being fought in this present darkness. 

Opposition is still among us. 


I urge you to not lose sight of your importance in prayer, your words, and your deeds. Praying that God is victorious in your life today, tomorrow, and always and that He reveals to you His many promises and truths. 


Did anyone else need this today as much as I did?


Photo Attribution

Finger Painting

Today in class we sang a song entitled Yes, You Have. When we got to the chorus, one of my students began to ask about the line: "You've stolen my heart, yes you have..." ("Ms. Angela! What does this mean?!"). To which, another student piped in ("Ms. Angela! Can I tell her at the end of the song???" Me: "Yes, yes, that's fine. Now, let's sing...").

At the song's completion, the definition came pouring out of the student's mouth. (I think you could equate his energy with one gasping for air after being held under water-- My students LOVE to talk!) He spoke on God's love for us and His desire to have our hearts. Amazed, I was taken aback slightly and then added, "Yes, and when you love someone and want to be with that person-- they are said to have stolen your heart. Meaning, all you think about is that person. And, all you want to do is be with that person. That's what God wants from us. That's what this song is about. The singer is talking about how God has stolen his heart."

Amazing how we can "sum up" God at times. But, really, when I stand away from the song... I come to find that in no way could I ever sum up God. I can tell of His wondrous, steadfast love for the world, His desire to use me to show others His love for them, and His desire for me to follow Him. But, summing up God.. no. Impossible.

This is comparable to painting a picture of the forest, but using only my fingers.

Wow.

This "technique" doesn't even BEGIN to resemble a forest. I can't translate the forest's beauty with my fingers alone! It's impossible to grasp the intricacies that so much exist.

This is what it's like when trying to explain God with words. I feel as though I am handicapped, at times. I don't have all of the paints necessary to paint the picture I desire. The picture I see.

But really, I find no words comparable to God's greatness, God's vastness, and God's depth.

All I know is: He is Jehovah Jireh. Yahweh. Alpha and Omega. The First and the Last. Holy of Holies. King of Kings. Lord of Lords. Steadfast Love. My Refuge. My Hiding Place. Elohim. El Shaddai. God Almighty. The Sufficient One. The Great Provider. Adonai. Master. Prince of Peace. The Great Deliverer. The Righteous One. The Redeemer. Everlasting...

...and that is only the beginning.

Photo Attribution

This Little Light of Mine...

"Send us (with fire) to go love the world."

I encourage you to be a bright light ...wherever God is wanting to place you.

Let us bring forth light in the darkness.

Oatmeal Creme Pies

Sitting restfully on my couch (when I should be completing Report Cards, mind you), I am reflecting on these past few days..

As I contemplate, I catch myself looking at an oatmeal creme pie as it rests on my coffee table. With this in sight, I am reminded of what it means to be the family of Christ. (Weird thought, I know... but hear me out..)

This past weekend, a group from the States came to the school to encourage and speak truth to the teachers here. It was a blessing of which I am truly grateful. You see, I had begun to fall to the lies that I don't have a great impact on my students' lives. They are too young. I don't spend enough time with them. I am a failure. These were a few of the lies I had heard.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

All were shattered with this visiting group. One of the ladies got up in front of everyone and spoke very fondly of her third grade teacher and how she had changed her mother's life for the better. This, of course, created a domino effect in her life and in her mother's-- and a paradigm shift was made in how they lived and interacted with those around them.

Then, another spoke of her envy of our students. She was not raised to believe in God, in Jesus-- and she recently discovered His truths. She talked of her life of broken addiction and of her vast emptiness. She, then, talked on how she had wished that someone would have been by her side as a child to tell her how to live a life following Christ. ---She reminded the teachers that THAT is what WE are doing. We are building our kids' lives up in truth and in love.

Both had no idea of my inner struggles, but God knew-- and he used them to speak to me-- to reaffirm my powerful role.

Not only am I a teacher, but I am a role model, a judge, a friend, a confidant, a coach, a cheerleader, and most importantly-- called to reflect Christ with it all. With my actions, my words... all of it. What a great refreshment those women were to my soul! They helped rekindle the fire within me to be Christ with and to these kids. These kids have the potential to change not only their lives or the lives of their families... but nations! Talk about power.

This group also left with me (and my roommates) some snacks they did not finish while visiting the area. Among those snacks are precious gems-- my childhood love: Oatmeal Creme Pies. With them in view, I am reminded of my home, my family.. and of course, the family of Christ. What a beautiful family we are! I pray that I daily strive to reflect Christ's love (and tell of it) among those who feel lost, abandoned, and hopeless.

Praying that I would continually strive to build others up and encourage those around me, this day and always.

Praying also that I never lose sight of the sphere of influence that is before me and that you, too, do not lose sight of your important role in the lives of others.

mmMMmm... Oatmeal Creme Pies have never tasted sooo good.. Now if I could just finish those Report Cards...

Photo Accreditation

Jungle Cat

So, I had a revelation today...

My time in Beit Jala could easily be portrayed with the following analogy:

Imagine a house cat, you know, the typical "I'm just going to lounge around the house, eat the food you place before me, and bathe myself" house cat. Sure, this cat has its own adventures-- perhaps it climbs the mountainous curtains or dodges and attacks the quick-moving feet of its owners-- but, it is what it is, a house cat. But to the cat, it is living the dream. The cat is dominating its society, on its terms.

Now, place that cat in the jungle.

This creates a problem. The house cat still has the mindset that it is ready and able to respond to its surroundings. It's knowledgeable and alert. And, given that it stays on the main path, the house cat is fine. But you and I both know that the jungle houses a world far beyond the main path. In fact, it is commonplace to assume that most of the jungle life happens above and below the tree line. Not to mention, out of sight.

This requires work, then, for the house cat. It must adjust and learn how to adapt-- learn how to survive. It also means that the senses need to stay open and alert.

This, I feel, is how my life could be depicted with visual imagery. A lot of things exist in Beit Jala and the surrounding areas that are not seen at first glance. Layers and layers of hurts exist. Layers and layers of pain. Layers and layers of people crying for help.

Luke 10:2 "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."

That's us. That's you. That's me.

So, that is my prayer today. Praying the Lord speaks to you. Praying He directs you where to go, and that you are open, willing, and receptive to His words. Praying that also for myself. Praying I never grow a heart that is hardened to His will. Praying I am never comfortable-- that I am always stretched. That is, after all, what the Lord tells us will happen "...behold, I am sending you out as lambs in the midst of wolves."

Nowhere do I see the words "you will live a life of comfort" spoken by Jesus.

Praying I am not complacent, as that is sometimes my tendency.

Patience

Patience is a virtue. I've heard this truth all of my life. Seriously. All of it. I have recollections of watching a short film as a child with a snail like character singing the tune: "Haaaave patience, haaaaave patience, Don't be in suuuuuuch a hurry..." (Of course, the notes and words were drawn out for emphasis.) I got the message. Patience, I need it.

Little did I know, I would need it in heaping servings.

You see, I have a classroom of 22 all-over-the-place children. 22 children who do NOT want to see what they do incorrectly, always telling me to look the other direction: "Miss Angela, look at so-and-so!!!" while they themselves may have caused the action, or more so, the reaction of the very student they want me to view. Literally. Always. Heaven forbid they look at themselves first!

Isn't that the way we are though?

We want to first look at others before we examine our own selves. Our own hearts. "Lord, look at that person.. they obviously do not follow you." When, in reality, we should be saying, "Lord, look at that person. You died for them and they do not know you. How can I be used so that they may know?" Or, better yet, "Lord, how close am I following you right now? How am I doing at allowing your Spirit to lead my thoughts + my actions + my desires at all times?"

Scary questions.

God has patience with us during these faulty times of ours. We (I) don't deserve it. I don't understand it. And I am definitely no expert on it.

But, I am learning.

I am learning to seek His guidance in (and out) of my classroom. To always answer questions with a smile. To have patience. Even when I have to say things two, three, or eight times. Even when my students are crazy. Even when they misbehave. Even when they life seems to be going in several directions all at once.

Patience.

God is good. All of the time, He is good. He never gives us anything we cannot handle.. even when we would like to think otherwise. He is all sufficient. He is the Prince of Peace. He is God Almighty.

What an awesome God I serve!

Glasses or Eyes?

While in Jerusalem on Friday, I began talking with Anwar, the manager of a local coffee shop. (For those of you that are wondering, Jerusalem is a 15 or so minute transit. It serves as a refreshing journey despite the fact that 99% of the time I work on lesson planning + grading while there.)

Now, Anwar and I began talking because, well, if I am to be honest here: I went up to apologize for lying to him earlier that afternoon.

I had told Anwar that I was a student when I ordered my drink (It's a tough habit to break after 5 years of answering 'Yes' to this question, ha!). Seemingly harmless, it crept into my conscience as he then responded with, "Oh, well you get an upgrade!" ...and, well, at this point I was too embarrassed to correct myself in front of the others in line behind me. Not to mention I already felt silly ordering in the foreign tongue of English.

It's a funny thing, the timidness that comes when you realize that your mother language is not the dominant one where you are. It breaks you in ways you have never been broken.

A good experience, if you ask me.

After I had picked up my (now super-sized) beverage, I felt a mixture of things. 1) Guilt 2) Guilt and oh, ya 3) Guilt.

Yes, it was a small "white lie" that I had "let slip" --but I still couldn't shake what was said earlier between a friend. "It's not our reputation on the line here, it's Christ's."

As I was packing my belongings to depart, I knew I had to go up to apologize...even though he had no idea I had wronged him.

Sparing the details of the conversation and getting right to the point, Anwar mentioned a rather interesting perspective concerning what we, as people, notice. Or, perhaps more so, what we let others see.

In context, we were talking of when others give compliments on our clothing or accessories (He had some awesome, funky glasses that we were discussing. And, for those of you that know me, this is nothing abnormal for me to notice and comment on these kinds of things with absolute strangers...). And his comment went something like this:

"Ya know, I'm not sure how I feel about people commenting on my dress.

One has to wonder: Are they really looking at me? Or, do their gazes go only skin deep? Sure, I do it too, but... one has to wonder. Do we see people for who they are? Are people looking and truly looking at one another with those comments? Just, something to think about..."

Touche, Anwar. Touche.

With this statement, a few challenging questions were then raised internally for me:

Am I looking at people's glasses and things of adornment, or am I looking into their eyes-- the windows of the soul?

Am I looking at their actions, or at the heart of the matter?

Am I allowing others to look into my realities, my problems, myself... or am I trying to cover them up so I appear flawless?

Am I too busy going that I don't stop to 1) look in the mirror and evaluate myself or 2) see, actually SEE people?

All good questions that I hope to really evaluate.

Oh ya, and Anwar forgave me.

Do I Have A Clean Plate?

Ladies and Gentlemen, feast your eyes on the state of the art tools for cleaning dishes:

The Bucket and The Drying Rack.

Here in Palestine, I now wash and dry my dishes in this way. No more simplified dishwasher. No more load, add soap, and leave. No more do what you like and come back to unload the dishes when the work is done. No, sir. Now, every dish matters. Every dirty dish takes time. Every dirty dish takes effort to clean. Are these complaints? No, not at all. They are, however, observations. Observations that are now causing me to ask more questions than before.

Q: How can I effectively use each dish before its time is "done"?

Q: Am I really wanting to dirty another dish, or is it possible to go without one? (i.e. Dip your vegetables in hummus without dirtying a plate! Eat yogurt out of its container! Eat cereal out of your hands! ...ok, lie. I still use a bowl for that one... but you get the idea.)

Q: Am I willing to wash the dishes that are in need of cleaning? ...before someone asks me to do so?

As I was washing the dishes today, I had a thought: "These dirty dishes could, perhaps, represent what sin does to the soul."

Think about it.

My soul, the plate. Sin, the dirt.

The sin I allow to fester on my soul affects everything: My relationship with God, others, and how I view myself and those around me. Sin affects my life.

Every sin. Every time.

So, then, come the questions:

Q: Am I filtering my thoughts, my words, my actions so that they ever-reflect God?

Q: Am I following God hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, second-by-second so that dirt is not able to present itself? Or, am I allowing Satan to work during those "free" moments?

Q: Am I listening as God instructs me on how to live, or am I sitting with closed ears?

Please, please don't hear me incorrectly. I am NOT trying to pull the old, guilt card. What I AM trying to raise is the concept and challenge of keenly listening to the still, small voice of my Father... and no one else's.

Always.

I recently read a book called "I Dared To Call Him Father" ---a MUST read that mirrors this idea wonderfully. And, quite frankly, I closed the book many times... just, in awe. In awe of the author's ability to stay so in tune to the voice of the Lord. In awe of how she was able to sense when the Spirit left her. She would then retrace her thoughts and actions to discover when it left and learn what was hindering her in growing closer to God.

You can watch a YouTube video about the book here.

Wow, simply wow.

So, that is my prayer today. Praying that I would continually aim to abide with my sweet Savior. My Father. Always.

Striving to keep my plate clean. ;)

Refreshment

Refreshment: the state of being refreshed with freshness and newness.

Yes, this would be how one would define my yesterday's journey; a refreshment for my being.

These past few days at the school have been somewhat draining, and I found myself lost in it all.

Lost in the feelings of inadequacy.

Lost in the feelings of doubt.

Lost in the feelings of frustration.

Lost in the earnest desire to give my all to my classroom.

It seemed like nothing was working. And, well, quite frankly, when that is the case-- questions arise.

I ran to my Lord, my Father, with questions, questions, questions: Am I supposed to be here? Am I at the right place? Was it your leading on my life or my own? Am I teaching the right age? etc. etc. And, wouldn't you know, not five minutes after those questions seemed to erupt out of my soul, I found myself once again lost.

Lost in the sweet love of my God.

Lost in the worth he gives His children.

Lost in the way God removes all fears. All doubts. All inadequacies. All with His perfection.

Lost in the affirmation that I am, indeed, following Him.

(This feeling especially came when I got online right after those questions were given only to receive messages from people I do not converse with regularly. These messages were ones of love, hope, joy, and companionship. I have strong beliefs that God put those messages into their hearts so that he could use them to speak to me directly. What a wonderful God I serve!)

With this new, refreshed sight (and with a few days of holiday), I began wandering outside of the box of normalcy I tend to travel on a typical school day (which, is not far).

I found myself wandering through the town's streets, through valleys, and then yesterday, to the ocean at sunset. It was here where God really refreshed my soul.

Sunsets are, I find, a glorious way God reveals His splendor. They are, for me, my favorite part of the day.

I love how, through sunsets, the colors of earth and sky melt together to form a breathtaking song and dance. I love how they blanket all of creation to reflect God's brilliancy, ever giving glory to their creator with their vivid colors. Sunsets give such a joyous, radiant presence and are so hard to escape. I am captivated by them. Tranced.

Sunsets are also, sadly, not monumental here in Bethlehem. So, it goes without saying that I have missed them profusely. But oh man, God is good. He knows my heart and knows my longing to see His beauty in creation (something you sometimes have to squint for, but it's always there.). Wonderfully, He provided, for me, a magnificent sunset yesterday while I was in Tel Aviv.

Through it: God's newness. God's refreshing spirit. God's love. All of these things seemed to avalanche their way towards my heart. And once they hit, I was taken aback hard.

I could do nothing but sit in awe as my soul and heart began to melt with the sunset in sight. Could do nothing but say "Thank You" --nothing but smile. Nothing but enjoy the presence of my great God.

He is, after all, the refreshment for the soul.

New Place, Old Feel

It's a strange thing to be in a place that seems familiar but is, of course, all things new. Right now I am indulging my senses and soaking up my current surroundings while at a local coffee shop in Jerusalem: The Coffee Bean.

I'm sitting here, drinking a soy chai latte (goodness knows how much I have longed for our sweet reunion...), letting Mazzy Star drown me in her song, Fade Into You, as it plays in the background. This song allows me to just, be, and do something I oh-so-love: people watch.

I'm watching as I see friends and couples re-connect, sipping over coffee, eating their salads, sandwiches, and all things Kosher. Amongst the crowd I see the devout Jews, the Rabbis, and many followers of Jewish law. I also see, of course, the new wave crowd: the young, hip, and fashionably forward Israelis. They all seem to be enjoying this particular Sunday as much as I am, using this day as a day of refreshment, renewal. It's a nice thing to be able to expand my normal views from time to time.

Now what I see: beautiful architecture that reminds me of my time in Florence, for the streets are lined with balconies and other simple pleasantries. Among the top of my "Favorites" list are the flowers that seem to be reaching out to me as they hang over the edge of the window sills--beckoning me to notice their beauty. Praise be to God for how he puts all of the wonderful details found in nature to ever-reflect His glory. I also feel the hustle and the bustle of a much more advanced, civilized place (which, is strange to admit knowing how old Jerusalem is...I mean, to think I walked past Old Jerusalem, and saw blocks of bricks from King Herod's reign!). Wow. Simply, wow.

Hard to believe that I am also only 20 minutes or so away from the school. Seems like worlds away.

Today after I passed through the check point to come into Jerusalem, I began to talk with two elderly Arab women. Both of which radiated love from within their souls (This is not an uncommon occurrence. Arabs have this way of speaking double blessings whenever they talk. "Hello!" "Hello, hello to you!" "Thank you." "Thank you, thank you to you! and so on and so on..."). We talked of course, with the little Arabic I know, but by the end of our 2 minute conversation you would think that we were long-lost friends, reuniting after a prolonged separation. I mean, I did after all receive an invitation to her home ...along with her name, telephone number, and traveling directions. Slightly overwhelming to be received with such love, but equally, I was so grateful to feel welcomed, accepted.

With a simple wave and kisses abounding on the cheeks, I left my sweet new friends and boarded the bus for Jerusalem.

While on the bus I just happened to think of a phrase I saw posted on a wall: "PEACE begins with ME." --and I couldn't agree more. I need to continually allow Christ's love to just flow out of me, and not hold on to feelings of fear, doubt, or anxiety. See people as God sees them.

My prayer is for Jerusalem today. I pray that this place would seek peace. That barriers would fall and people would begin to see people as God sees them: beautifully and wonderfully made, worthy of love. Yes, we all have our differences. But, what matters most, is God's view. And, it is my thought, that he views us as one. One people. I pray that we one day live under that title. Praying for the action steps towards this cause, that they be swift and smooth. Praying we would all learn to depend fully on Him in and for everything. He so much longs to be loved and known by His creation...

So yes, praying peace begins with me today, tomorrow, and the days to come.

Lesson Learned

With my last entry, I wrote on the frustrations of not knowing the native tongue found in Beit Jala (which is, more specifically, where I live). Well, an endearing event happened the other day that I would like to share with you all...

Three days ago, a young girl, Judy (I must add, that she is a wide-eyed first grader who makes you want to hold her and never let go. She's THAT adorable..), was standing by the front gate after school had let out for the day. She was earnestly watching the passing traffic, ever hoping for a glimpse of someone familiar. Unfortunately though, to Judy's dismay, no one seemed to be coming. Catching on to her need, I attempted to assist her and spoke in a friendly manner, informing her that I was there to help. However, all I got in return was a blank stare (I was, after all, speaking in a language she was just beginning to learn...). Finally, with the help of another, my message of concern was translated and she willingly obeyed my request for her to follow me to the school's office.

I was luckily able to clearly state to the girl's father that she had missed the bus, and he assured me that someone would be on their way towards the school. "Fifteen minutes," he said. (That's about 30-45 minutes in the Arab world, sometimes more...) So, knowing this, I decided we had better make ourselves comfortable in the shade.

While we waited, Judy and I began to form a relationship. All of our communication thus far had been a fun mix of charades and broken English--- both of which, do not get you very far. I tried to explain to Judy once more that I was the third grade teacher here at the school, and that I was a friend of Ms. Lily (her teacher). Still, crickets seemed to be noisier than she. Finally, I decided to talk on my frustrations of not knowing Arabic. "I really would like to learn more words... Here is a list of all I know so far...," I told her. Upon hearing my small (but growing!) list, Judy let on a smile. (Finally! I'm getting somewhere with her!) I then asked her if she would be willing to help me extend my vocabulary, and told her I would really like to learn a few numbers.

At this, a little game erupted. We began to count in both Arabic and English, and let me tell you, she laughed (a LOT) at my inability to remember all of the numbers (we only counted up to 5).

With this game, she received from me the label of Ms. Teacher Judy. I informed her that from there on out, I would address her as my Arabic teacher and that I hoped we could have several more sessions together. She, of course, just smiled (as if embarrassed) and proceeded to snack on her chocolate puff cereal as she contemplated the request I had just made.

I could tell, though, that a confidence she did not have before was blossoming. SHE was able to help ME. This was definitely a paradigm shift in her frame of mind. And, I think was a great lesson for me. I must always be willing to learn as I never know where a lesson could potentially pop up.

Thank you, Teacher Judy, for reiterating the lesson to always have a teachable spirit.

There's an event that happens at my old university titled: The Living Library. At this, you meet with various individuals (or, as they are called, living "books") for 30 minutes or so to learn about their lives. A dialogue, if you will, about what you find interesting matched with the information they willingly give. It's a great lesson that practices the art of listening.

And well, to put it frankly, it's high time I start studying and opening the "books" that are at my disposal here in Palestine.

In order to instill value and worth in the lives here, I have to put myself out there. I have to become vulnerable. Humble. I have to show genuine interest. I have to make a move. Daily.

Praying that I am consistently in this mindset. Praying that God would continue to lead and guide me in this venture, and that my heart would not be hardened from hearing his voice.

Language Barrier

I live in an environment where the native tongue is not my own. This can be amusing at times.. forcing me to just laugh at my circumstances. On a daily basis, I find myself reverting back to my days of picture books (as, that is how I read most labels on the goods I purchase.) With two failures in two weeks, I'd say I'm doing a pretty decent job so far..

1. Mistaking fabric softener for detergent

2. Mistaking a local food, labneh, for yogurt ...both, not horrendous and easily fixable. And, let's be honest, just.. funny!

But, I know the other side of not knowing the native tongue. This side, is not humorous ...it's heart breaking.

I live in a community where my position as a foreigner can sometimes be seen as arrogant. Selfish. Stubborn. Closed-Minded. Unloving. Indifferent. Impersonal.

All things Christ is not.

I'm here to be that salt to the tasteless world that surrounds-- to be the light in this dark place.

How can I do this if I cannot speak with these people?

Action. John 3:18 comes to mind:

"Let us not love in word or talk but in deed and truth."

This is my prayer. I pray that God would use me to show His love for ALL peoples.

Praying this becomes my lifestyle.

Praying that I am not fearful to act out of God's love.

Praying that what is seen is my heart, and not my flesh.

Praying for grace, favor, mercy, and love from the locals here.

Praying the Spirit would continually speak and use me to reveal truth.

Eye of the Storm

Sources tell me that the calmest part of any tropical storm is dead-set, in the middle. This is also known as, the eye. It can be described as having clear, blue skies that would make even Judy Garland sing and light winds that would make any sailor's eyes joyfully gleam.

My friends, welcome to the center of my storm.

I'm at a funny place to be as I have missed my first day of classes (due to visa issues), and as the teacher-- that is saying something, ha! I can see the many hours of preparation done to make this first day a success (the first half of the storm), and can see the many hours that lay ahead to ensure that my kids are ready and able to strive for greater things in life (the second half of the storm).

They have the potential to make great, great changes for this community.

They have the potential to love and abandon all for their brothers and sisters.

They have the potential to let God guide them in everything-- to know him personally.

These things, and more, are my prayers.

For these next few months, a lot of things are uncertain.

But, as I was reminded by several friends today, I serve a God who is constant, in control, and has all authority over my life. He holds my future, and as long as I lean and depend on Him fully... I should be fine. He is my captain, and I am his sailor.

So, I say, prepare the sails; I'm ready for an adventure!

Things Unseen

Now, I am sitting in my living room, windows open, gazing out at the nightlife that surrounds. It's a simple, quiet life tonight for the locals. I hear a few cars whizzing by, kids playing in the streets.. (side note: Wow.. it makes my heart giddy to hear kids playing, at all times). And me, I am here with Phil Wickham on my computer battling the call to prayer for my ears' attention (and an empty coffee mug at my side). Typical evening.

Yesterday I wandered around town with two others here with me. We stumbled across a run-down, forgotten building that seems to be screaming the same thing as the locals here.

Notice me.

Care for me.

Instead, barbed wire surrounds its windows and the building is empty, hollow. The perimeter is one of little to no invitation as it is amidst a bed of thorns. Dry, dry thorns that attack with brutality. This, I feel, is a representation of the lives of those I am to teach.

My kids need the wellspring of life... for their souls are dry.

Lord, please use me for this.

Praying for wisdom, discernment, and an overgrown heart.

Rear Window

One of my roommates and I are watching "Rear Window" tonight as we wind down, and I realized that I had not shared with you MY window's view.

Enjoy! :)

Is it hot in here?

Ok, so let's just be honest with one another... This post, is not me complaining.. more, me stating facts.

(You have to get it out somehow, right?? And, what a great entertaining piece for you!)

So, it's a little hot here across the way (a whopping 102-109 degrees Fahrenheit, to be exact!..slight discrepencies between sources). And it's quite comical to realize that when it's hot:

1. One may find one of my roommates walking around the apartment in her moo-moo-- at all hours of the day.

2. The distance traveled has a direct correlation to your distance from an indoor fan.

3. Ice cream becomes a new food group-- with approximately 8 suggested servings a day (minimum).

4. Your dwelling place suddenly turns into Batman's cave, as the lessened light provides a nice, "cool" atmosphere.

5. You suddenly find local kids confusing your puddle of sweat for the new public pool.

So, yes.. this is a very comical way of stating that it's a little hot today. And so, would very much ask that you pray for my classroom as we start school next week. Pray that the attention span of my 23 young ones does not venture away as the heat drags on. Pray that the Lord would provide me with strength to carry on all tasks necessary, and to extend love, grace, and mercy at all times. Pray that I would not look to teaching as a burden (because of the heat)-- but that God would so much be my consistent joy.

Pray that God would be my oasis in this desert place.

My Beloved Book

You would think that having just arrived, I would be bombarded with people who match the description poured out from the media.. or that I would be fearful for my life. On the contrary, I have met nothing but generosity.

I have felt welcomed from all directions. And I am learning more, every day, what it means to not judge a book by its cover.

On the outside, the restaurant I enjoyed today looks like a tattered, forgotten book. Perhaps, even an attic filler. You know the ones. The books that your great, great, great grandparents passed down, and you just can't seem to 1) get it back in its mint-like state or 2) toss it away because of the sentimental value attached. Either way, it appears ...well, junky to the average Joe. This restaurant was that book. But, stepping inside, I'm greeted by something completely new, transformed, and beautiful.

Greeted by a warm, cozy environment, I have to just smile as I realize what I had done. I had put this restaurant in an ugly box, and did not know that what I would find would go beyond the borders I had created in my mind. Yet another way Jesus speaks to me.. Look not to the body but to the heart, to the soul. Look not to what the media is saying about these people, but to your experiences. Look not to their actions but listen to their hearts. Listen. Listen. Listen.

Judge not, just love. Love them like I love them.

With this love I give to you, they may come to know me.

Thank you to my little alcove of an eatery to reiterate one of God's great commandments. Love like God loves first.

Lord, give me your eyes-- always. Allow me to see people as you see them. Worthy of your love.