Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Ode to the Fam
Alright, so, it goes without saying that I missed my family. And guys, I have a great, loving, supportive family -- the kind of family that is positively dynamic, never boring, and has an endless supply of awesome on hand. Naturally, a group with a combo like this, will be missed.
And let me just say, after traveling across the Atlantic, from Palestine to America, these guys are the ones that I could not wait to see.
I calculated it, and looks like it took me 30 hours to get from one home to the other. Thirty hours of groggily meandering through airports, slipping in and out of half-hearted sleep, and processing the many memories made and relationships formed.
Talk about a long journey!
I am so thankful that at the end of that trek stood the group of people who love and support me more than anyone else I know. They know my faults, my weaknesses, my strengths, my passions, my everything -- and love me all the same.
It's interesting how after months of being gone, I walk in the front door of our house, note the changes that have been made and the relocation of furniture, but still feel as if I'm home. Sure, "my" bedroom has now changed faces and is now home to "Mom's Sewing Center/Guest Room" -- but, I am still welcome.
I am still given the patience, the grace, and the guidance that I am so very thankful for.
To my family, who taught me to love others without judging them -- for we all are broken, all in need of a Savior -- I love you.
It's good to be home.
And let me just say, after traveling across the Atlantic, from Palestine to America, these guys are the ones that I could not wait to see.
I calculated it, and looks like it took me 30 hours to get from one home to the other. Thirty hours of groggily meandering through airports, slipping in and out of half-hearted sleep, and processing the many memories made and relationships formed.
Talk about a long journey!
I am so thankful that at the end of that trek stood the group of people who love and support me more than anyone else I know. They know my faults, my weaknesses, my strengths, my passions, my everything -- and love me all the same.
It's interesting how after months of being gone, I walk in the front door of our house, note the changes that have been made and the relocation of furniture, but still feel as if I'm home. Sure, "my" bedroom has now changed faces and is now home to "Mom's Sewing Center/Guest Room" -- but, I am still welcome.
I am still given the patience, the grace, and the guidance that I am so very thankful for.
To my family, who taught me to love others without judging them -- for we all are broken, all in need of a Savior -- I love you.
It's good to be home.
Groundhog Day
Oh. my. GOODNESS.
All of the greenery around me is soooo so good for my being. Really. I feel as if my spirit has been caged in for far too long, and having just been let free, it is going crazy! One thing I know, I can guarantee you that my time spent outdoors is about to exponentially increase! I cannot tell you how wonderful my summer is going to be because of this.
Also, to be in the land of peanut butter rivers is simply amazing. I walked into my parents' kitchen, opened the cabinet doors, and lo-and-behold, five {yes, FIVE! --of various varieties} peanut butter jars were smiling right back at me. Ahhh... it's good to be home.
Alright, alright, jokes aside... Let's get down to some serious stuff...
Fellowship.
Hold on, let me repeat this.
Fellowship. And, we're talking, legit fellowship is what I am looking forward to like Christmas Day. I feel as though I've been living through the plot of "Groundhog Day" --- only, my holiday is Christmas. I've been living Christmas Eve over, and over, and over, and over -- and I cannot wait to get out of this rut!
Please, don't hear me wrong. Our team overseas was sooo, so awesome. We worked through issues, we supported one another through the thick and the thin, we encouraged one another, we had fun together, we worshipped together, we prayed together, we lived life successfully together... if I do say so myself. But, we didn't have the family feel that you get through meeting with other Jesus followers on a regular basis.
I feel as though my soul has been on the waiting list for strong, faith-filled community, and I'm anticipating being reunited like you would not believe. What a glorious day that will be...
{Side Note: But that does not mean that I was disconnected from those I left behind. Shout out to all of you who communicated with me over this last year -- all of the E-mails, text messages, chat conversations, care packages, etc. etc --- are/were such blessings! They had a greater impact than you realize. Thank you for thinking of me. You guys rock. God's love is so evident by your words + actions. Thank you for that. But, what I'm really excited about is seeing you all in person. Reunion in the near future? You bet!}
All of the greenery around me is soooo so good for my being. Really. I feel as if my spirit has been caged in for far too long, and having just been let free, it is going crazy! One thing I know, I can guarantee you that my time spent outdoors is about to exponentially increase! I cannot tell you how wonderful my summer is going to be because of this.
Also, to be in the land of peanut butter rivers is simply amazing. I walked into my parents' kitchen, opened the cabinet doors, and lo-and-behold, five {yes, FIVE! --of various varieties} peanut butter jars were smiling right back at me. Ahhh... it's good to be home.
Alright, alright, jokes aside... Let's get down to some serious stuff...
Fellowship.
Hold on, let me repeat this.
Fellowship. And, we're talking, legit fellowship is what I am looking forward to like Christmas Day. I feel as though I've been living through the plot of "Groundhog Day" --- only, my holiday is Christmas. I've been living Christmas Eve over, and over, and over, and over -- and I cannot wait to get out of this rut!
Please, don't hear me wrong. Our team overseas was sooo, so awesome. We worked through issues, we supported one another through the thick and the thin, we encouraged one another, we had fun together, we worshipped together, we prayed together, we lived life successfully together... if I do say so myself. But, we didn't have the family feel that you get through meeting with other Jesus followers on a regular basis.
I feel as though my soul has been on the waiting list for strong, faith-filled community, and I'm anticipating being reunited like you would not believe. What a glorious day that will be...
{Side Note: But that does not mean that I was disconnected from those I left behind. Shout out to all of you who communicated with me over this last year -- all of the E-mails, text messages, chat conversations, care packages, etc. etc --- are/were such blessings! They had a greater impact than you realize. Thank you for thinking of me. You guys rock. God's love is so evident by your words + actions. Thank you for that. But, what I'm really excited about is seeing you all in person. Reunion in the near future? You bet!}
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Straddling Two Distant Lands
As I gaze outside of my living room here for the last time, I am overcome with emotion. The many thoughts that are dancing through my head resemble these strewed sentences & words.
Thank GOODNESS, I am DONE packing.
...Now, let's just hope that the bags meet the TSA weight requirements.
Weird. I am going to understand all of the signs I see in 36 hours.
Even weirder: I'm going to understand ALL of the conversations I hear around me. {ok, maybe most* conversations...}
I'm going to see my family at the airport.
Hmm... When am I going to see my students again? I really like those guys.
Can I please get past security in 30 minutes or less?
Did I accomplish everything that I set out here to do?
I am about to leave this land full of history + newness + turmoil + peace + love + bitterness + understanding + confusion + new family + strangers + people broken to pieces + people made whole. ...All of the contradictions that make this place special ...that make this place feel like home... Will be missed.
P.S. Dear America, For some strange reason... I am craving doughnuts like c.r.a.z.y. {If you know me, then you know how bizarro this is! I cannot tell you the last time I had one of these bad boys...}. Seriously. I think I may have even dreamt about eating one?? {Whaaaat?! Who am I?!}Particularly, though, America -- Can you let me have a great big chocolate covered and delectably warm-fresh-from-the-oven kind of doughnut??
That'd be swell.
Thank GOODNESS, I am DONE packing.
...Now, let's just hope that the bags meet the TSA weight requirements.
Weird. I am going to understand all of the signs I see in 36 hours.
Even weirder: I'm going to understand ALL of the conversations I hear around me. {ok, maybe most* conversations...}
I'm going to see my family at the airport.
Hmm... When am I going to see my students again? I really like those guys.
Can I please get past security in 30 minutes or less?
Did I accomplish everything that I set out here to do?
I am about to leave this land full of history + newness + turmoil + peace + love + bitterness + understanding + confusion + new family + strangers + people broken to pieces + people made whole. ...All of the contradictions that make this place special ...that make this place feel like home... Will be missed.
P.S. Dear America, For some strange reason... I am craving doughnuts like c.r.a.z.y. {If you know me, then you know how bizarro this is! I cannot tell you the last time I had one of these bad boys...}. Seriously. I think I may have even dreamt about eating one?? {Whaaaat?! Who am I?!}Particularly, though, America -- Can you let me have a great big chocolate covered and delectably warm-fresh-from-the-oven kind of doughnut??
That'd be swell.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Trusting
Right about now I have {somewhat of} an idea what a parent ponders when they send their beloved child off to college...
The questions are moving through my head like a rushing river over loose stones.
Will my students remember the truth and love I poured into their beings?
Will they remember the life of Jesus and come to truly follow Him?
Will the other teachers that are in their path fill them up with knowledge, admonish them when wrong is done, and encourage them when positive words are said + uplifting actions are shown?
Will I be able to follow their lives faithfully and be at their side if they ever need my guidance?
When will I know to let go?
...It's hard to know the answers to all of these questions.
But I do know one thing, my God is watching over them, and He is faithful.
Praying that my trust would fully fall on God -- with my students' futures and my future as well.
I'm preparing to move back to the States in a few days, and will be moving on from this past year's experience. I am to work at a local coffee shop and hopefully fill people's souls with goodness while serving them a great cup of joe.
This job will be very different from the past 10 months of my life, but they are not unrelated.
I plan to use the skills that I have gained here in the next few steps of my life and beyond. I hope to fall more in love with Jesus. I plan on living my life out of His love + His strength {because I definitely know that mine is not. enough.}
Ahhh... It's been a great year, and I am anticipating the many more that God has in store for me.
Bring on the adventure! Even when I'm apprehensive, I know it's best to just trust God in + with everything.
Just say yes.
The questions are moving through my head like a rushing river over loose stones.
Will my students remember the truth and love I poured into their beings?
Will they remember the life of Jesus and come to truly follow Him?
Will the other teachers that are in their path fill them up with knowledge, admonish them when wrong is done, and encourage them when positive words are said + uplifting actions are shown?
Will I be able to follow their lives faithfully and be at their side if they ever need my guidance?
When will I know to let go?
...It's hard to know the answers to all of these questions.
But I do know one thing, my God is watching over them, and He is faithful.
Praying that my trust would fully fall on God -- with my students' futures and my future as well.
I'm preparing to move back to the States in a few days, and will be moving on from this past year's experience. I am to work at a local coffee shop and hopefully fill people's souls with goodness while serving them a great cup of joe.
This job will be very different from the past 10 months of my life, but they are not unrelated.
I plan to use the skills that I have gained here in the next few steps of my life and beyond. I hope to fall more in love with Jesus. I plan on living my life out of His love + His strength {because I definitely know that mine is not. enough.}
Ahhh... It's been a great year, and I am anticipating the many more that God has in store for me.
Bring on the adventure! Even when I'm apprehensive, I know it's best to just trust God in + with everything.
Just say yes.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Last Day
So, as most of you know, I head back to the States in thirteen days (!!!). If you were to tell me several days ago that the last day of school would zoom by without my knowledge, or really, awareness of it... I probably would have laughed at you in your face.
But, that is what has happened.
It's gone.
Strange, the moment that I was anticipating for so long has now come, and I am so desperately wanting to have a room full of small-statured bodies once more. Twenty-three, to be exact. Don't get me wrong when I say that I was anticipating the end, for it wasn't the kids I was dreading, but the work! Teaching takes its toll on you when you perpetually pour so much of yourself out.
And, well, I am drained.
But am so, so wanting to go back to yesterday.
Yesterday, when my students were beckoning me to look over to them while they were attempting to jump rope while practicing the 3:1 ratio. Three 9 year old boys, one jump rope. Talk about entertainment! They were. a. riot.
Yesterday, when we ventured to the wonderful world of Peter Pan. As some of my students gazed onto the screen filled with the adventurous lives that make up Neverland, I noticed something. They were transfixed. A few of my students had never seen the film, and their joyous laughter was so contagious, I could not help but join. Simple joys are known in a child's smile --laughter seeps into your soul.
Yesterday, when one of my students, when questioned where they would most like to travel, answered Arkansas ---because that is where I am from. The smile behind his face says so much more than his answer.
We have connected.
These moments, and sooo many more, are the ones I hope to cherish. To hold dear for the many years to come, closely to my heart. I hope to never forget the times when I fought for their innocence and for justice to come upon them. I hope to never forget the boldness behind their eyes. The many stories that they are wanting to tell me, or, the many stories they strive to hide.
When you venture here, you may be surprised by the violence. You may be surprised by the cruelty of how life is lived. You may be surprised by the amount of dirt, garbage, and the land's unkempt appearance. But that, my friends, would be nothing to what I have been surprised by.
I have been surprised by the hearts full of hope-- most, clouded by fear and uncertainty. I have been surprised by the many words and unforeseen acts of kindness received. I have been surprised by the love felt here; as if visiting long-lost family. I have been surprised by the ease of it all. Every step along the way with my third grade class brought me closer and closer into their definition of "familly."
Ah, my Third Grade family.
The family that I have cried over, poured myself out over, screamed at the top of my lungs in anger over {and then communicated in a civil manner over}, laughed uncontrollably at their jokes and stories over, hugged like there was no tomorrow over, and spoke words of truth and love over, is the family I will miss.
But, that is what has happened.
It's gone.
Strange, the moment that I was anticipating for so long has now come, and I am so desperately wanting to have a room full of small-statured bodies once more. Twenty-three, to be exact. Don't get me wrong when I say that I was anticipating the end, for it wasn't the kids I was dreading, but the work! Teaching takes its toll on you when you perpetually pour so much of yourself out.
And, well, I am drained.
But am so, so wanting to go back to yesterday.
Yesterday, when my students were beckoning me to look over to them while they were attempting to jump rope while practicing the 3:1 ratio. Three 9 year old boys, one jump rope. Talk about entertainment! They were. a. riot.
Yesterday, when we ventured to the wonderful world of Peter Pan. As some of my students gazed onto the screen filled with the adventurous lives that make up Neverland, I noticed something. They were transfixed. A few of my students had never seen the film, and their joyous laughter was so contagious, I could not help but join. Simple joys are known in a child's smile --laughter seeps into your soul.
Yesterday, when one of my students, when questioned where they would most like to travel, answered Arkansas ---because that is where I am from. The smile behind his face says so much more than his answer.
We have connected.
These moments, and sooo many more, are the ones I hope to cherish. To hold dear for the many years to come, closely to my heart. I hope to never forget the times when I fought for their innocence and for justice to come upon them. I hope to never forget the boldness behind their eyes. The many stories that they are wanting to tell me, or, the many stories they strive to hide.
When you venture here, you may be surprised by the violence. You may be surprised by the cruelty of how life is lived. You may be surprised by the amount of dirt, garbage, and the land's unkempt appearance. But that, my friends, would be nothing to what I have been surprised by.
I have been surprised by the hearts full of hope-- most, clouded by fear and uncertainty. I have been surprised by the many words and unforeseen acts of kindness received. I have been surprised by the love felt here; as if visiting long-lost family. I have been surprised by the ease of it all. Every step along the way with my third grade class brought me closer and closer into their definition of "familly."
Ah, my Third Grade family.
The family that I have cried over, poured myself out over, screamed at the top of my lungs in anger over {and then communicated in a civil manner over}, laughed uncontrollably at their jokes and stories over, hugged like there was no tomorrow over, and spoke words of truth and love over, is the family I will miss.
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