Glasses or Eyes?

While in Jerusalem on Friday, I began talking with Anwar, the manager of a local coffee shop. (For those of you that are wondering, Jerusalem is a 15 or so minute transit. It serves as a refreshing journey despite the fact that 99% of the time I work on lesson planning + grading while there.)

Now, Anwar and I began talking because, well, if I am to be honest here: I went up to apologize for lying to him earlier that afternoon.

I had told Anwar that I was a student when I ordered my drink (It's a tough habit to break after 5 years of answering 'Yes' to this question, ha!). Seemingly harmless, it crept into my conscience as he then responded with, "Oh, well you get an upgrade!" ...and, well, at this point I was too embarrassed to correct myself in front of the others in line behind me. Not to mention I already felt silly ordering in the foreign tongue of English.

It's a funny thing, the timidness that comes when you realize that your mother language is not the dominant one where you are. It breaks you in ways you have never been broken.

A good experience, if you ask me.

After I had picked up my (now super-sized) beverage, I felt a mixture of things. 1) Guilt 2) Guilt and oh, ya 3) Guilt.

Yes, it was a small "white lie" that I had "let slip" --but I still couldn't shake what was said earlier between a friend. "It's not our reputation on the line here, it's Christ's."

As I was packing my belongings to depart, I knew I had to go up to apologize...even though he had no idea I had wronged him.

Sparing the details of the conversation and getting right to the point, Anwar mentioned a rather interesting perspective concerning what we, as people, notice. Or, perhaps more so, what we let others see.

In context, we were talking of when others give compliments on our clothing or accessories (He had some awesome, funky glasses that we were discussing. And, for those of you that know me, this is nothing abnormal for me to notice and comment on these kinds of things with absolute strangers...). And his comment went something like this:

"Ya know, I'm not sure how I feel about people commenting on my dress.

One has to wonder: Are they really looking at me? Or, do their gazes go only skin deep? Sure, I do it too, but... one has to wonder. Do we see people for who they are? Are people looking and truly looking at one another with those comments? Just, something to think about..."

Touche, Anwar. Touche.

With this statement, a few challenging questions were then raised internally for me:

Am I looking at people's glasses and things of adornment, or am I looking into their eyes-- the windows of the soul?

Am I looking at their actions, or at the heart of the matter?

Am I allowing others to look into my realities, my problems, myself... or am I trying to cover them up so I appear flawless?

Am I too busy going that I don't stop to 1) look in the mirror and evaluate myself or 2) see, actually SEE people?

All good questions that I hope to really evaluate.

Oh ya, and Anwar forgave me.