Refreshment

Refreshment: the state of being refreshed with freshness and newness.

Yes, this would be how one would define my yesterday's journey; a refreshment for my being.

These past few days at the school have been somewhat draining, and I found myself lost in it all.

Lost in the feelings of inadequacy.

Lost in the feelings of doubt.

Lost in the feelings of frustration.

Lost in the earnest desire to give my all to my classroom.

It seemed like nothing was working. And, well, quite frankly, when that is the case-- questions arise.

I ran to my Lord, my Father, with questions, questions, questions: Am I supposed to be here? Am I at the right place? Was it your leading on my life or my own? Am I teaching the right age? etc. etc. And, wouldn't you know, not five minutes after those questions seemed to erupt out of my soul, I found myself once again lost.

Lost in the sweet love of my God.

Lost in the worth he gives His children.

Lost in the way God removes all fears. All doubts. All inadequacies. All with His perfection.

Lost in the affirmation that I am, indeed, following Him.

(This feeling especially came when I got online right after those questions were given only to receive messages from people I do not converse with regularly. These messages were ones of love, hope, joy, and companionship. I have strong beliefs that God put those messages into their hearts so that he could use them to speak to me directly. What a wonderful God I serve!)

With this new, refreshed sight (and with a few days of holiday), I began wandering outside of the box of normalcy I tend to travel on a typical school day (which, is not far).

I found myself wandering through the town's streets, through valleys, and then yesterday, to the ocean at sunset. It was here where God really refreshed my soul.

Sunsets are, I find, a glorious way God reveals His splendor. They are, for me, my favorite part of the day.

I love how, through sunsets, the colors of earth and sky melt together to form a breathtaking song and dance. I love how they blanket all of creation to reflect God's brilliancy, ever giving glory to their creator with their vivid colors. Sunsets give such a joyous, radiant presence and are so hard to escape. I am captivated by them. Tranced.

Sunsets are also, sadly, not monumental here in Bethlehem. So, it goes without saying that I have missed them profusely. But oh man, God is good. He knows my heart and knows my longing to see His beauty in creation (something you sometimes have to squint for, but it's always there.). Wonderfully, He provided, for me, a magnificent sunset yesterday while I was in Tel Aviv.

Through it: God's newness. God's refreshing spirit. God's love. All of these things seemed to avalanche their way towards my heart. And once they hit, I was taken aback hard.

I could do nothing but sit in awe as my soul and heart began to melt with the sunset in sight. Could do nothing but say "Thank You" --nothing but smile. Nothing but enjoy the presence of my great God.

He is, after all, the refreshment for the soul.